Scripture To Consider:
The Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one."
Ephesians 5:31
Big T's Thought To Ponder:
This is a subject that really had me pondering this morning and what I came to realize is that a successful marriage is impossible without God in it, it just won't work! The key to a successful marriage is a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It isn't until this direct vertical relationship in our life is solid that all the horizontal relationships in our life can become healthy and fruitful.
For more then 16 years, my marriage was all about desires, which would have been fine if they would have been shared desires, wishes and hopes for our life together. Shortly after the honeymoon, they eventually turned into expectations and obligations and when this happened our relationship became all about two "I's".
She wanted things one way and I wanted things another way. It became a debt-debtor relationship where we each felt we owed each other something. Basically, our expectations kept growing and the bar kept getting higher and higher until our so called relationship was no longer a covenant of marriage- it was a performance driven contract and the love that once was, turned into a big bunch of self-centered I, I, I's... Me, Me, Me's... You, You, You's...
What we have learned in our relationship in Jesus, is there is no room for "I", and our marriages are exactly the same way. We are not committed to "the marriage", we are committed to one another. It's relational, it's a covenant, it's about romance and intimacy. It is not compromising, it is not prideful, it is not about "I", or "You", it is about "Us" and "We" - It's a covenant, not a contract.
It is about putting your wives needs and desires before you own. It is about relational flexibility and investing into each other, while growing in Christ oneness. Our marriages were designed to be as three- a husband, a wife and Jesus Christ to be the glue that holds it all together, all working in union and harmony with each other.
Here are (5) relational flexibilities that I have found that are great oneness builders:
1. Stretch your comfort zones. Be willing to go beyond normal for you and do something your mate wants to do that might not be your favorite thing. It illustrates that you're doing it just for your spouse because you care. As we stretch our comfort zone, we'll grow and actually expand our own personal limits.
2. Flex your attitude. Christian God-Centered marriages are all about serving and pleasing each other. Focus on your "partner" role. Developing a servantship attitude is one of the healthiest things we can do for our marriage.
3. Expect the unexpected. A healthy marriage is committed to Jesus Christ, individually and together. That's what Two for One represents. God wants us to take our marriage further than we can dream. Ephesians 3:20 speaks of His being able to do for us "more than all we ask or imagine." Be open to following where He leads us. Unexpected paths lead to unimaginable blessings and I can personally attest to this!
4. Do something unplanned and spontaneous together. It will keep the freshness and excitement in your marriage. If neither of you are spur-of-the-moment people, take turns planning a surprise date for the other. This doesn't have to be expensive, it is the simple pleasures in life that we so often overlook. Sunrises and Sunsets are a good start!
5. Balance your "expecter." Strive for the happy medium between having your expectations for your mate too high and settling for mediocrity. Challenge your mate without demanding perfection. This is a biggy for me- a covenant not a contract!
God's Truth - Promise - Challenge:
"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."
Colossians 3:12-17
"and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
Matthew 19:5-6
AND NOW ABIDE FAITH, HOPE, LOVE, THESE THREE; BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE.
